Do you remember in Breakdance (1984) – yeah I know I just aged myself – when Kelly was doing dance auditions? They kept saying sorry but we want something else. And when she became that something else…they wanted something else. Well to be honest, I’ve been feeling like Kelly recently – trying everything and not quite being what is needed or wanted. The client always wants some intangible else that I can’t achieve.I try not to let it get to me. Pick myself up, go to the next job and kick it in the ass but…wow, sometimes it’s hard. Also I think I’m about to start menstruating so that’s probably also contributing to my mood. Not that anyone should dismiss this because of PMS. As a writer, getting rejected is part of the deal. As a sensitive artiste, it hurts like a motherfucker. As a pragmatic human being and a fairly self-confident one; it’s not always about the work. Sometimes you’re just not the right fit. It’s like falling in love; either it happens or it doesn’t. You might find a person who is everything you want on paper but…the magic just doesn’t happen. I kind of tend to look at these jobs like that. Just that…we weren’t the right fit.IT STILL HURTS THOUGH.That’s why I thought I’d write it all down here and get it out of my head. I’m a writer; I write my emotions. It’s actually working I think. It feels like it hurts less than when I opened my email this morning.Of course that could just be because my cramps are worse so it’s all relative. It’s not just ghost writing in which the rejection is real. I’ve been feeling like y’all have been ignoring my own books too. This is exacerbated by the fact that I posted a free book so I get notifications every day in my inbox about how many books I’ve ‘sold’…the free book is flying off the shelves but the others? Crickets. Why y’all stopped buying my books? You’re making me sad.So this is a post without a happy ending. I’m an ungrateful little shit and will continue to want what I don’t have instead of appreciating what I do have. But what I won’t do, is quit. I follow this tumblr called Clients from Hell which posts about some of the most unreasonable clients a freelancer can get. I think I’ve met all of them. So maybe it’s not all on me.Wish I could know for sure though. But I guess if I wanted precise answers I should have ventured into mathematics or physics.FML.